Love Hurts
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Follows The Unrequited Love Paradox and The Hand-Holding Continuation. Shamy fans keep away; Shenny is no longer doomed!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I recommend you read The Unrequited Love Paradox and The Hand-Holding Continuation before reading this or it won't make a lot of sense in regards to the finale.

* * *

Ever since Leonard had proposed to Penny they had been fighting more and more. Howard and Bernadette's wedding had brought them together for a short while, but that quickly went south when Leonard had "burned" her. The next day was much the same. It started off well enough. They had all said tearfull (on Bernadette's and Raj's parts) goodbyes to Howard the night before and were still feeling some of the melancholy that morning. They all went to work and everything was good. Then they watched the launch and they held hands in pairs. Sheldon went to bed and everyone else went home. Penny stayed, still holding Leonard's hand.

"I hope he'll be okay up there," Penny whispered.

Leonard squeezed her hand. "He'll be fine. He might wet his pants a few times on the way, but once he gets there and looks at his wedding picture everything will be alright."

Penny smiled. "It was a sweet ceremony, wasn't it?"

"You mean, aside from Raj being unable to talk, Sheldon speaking in Klingon, and Amy mostly focussing on herself?" Leonard chuckled.

"Don't forget your little barb in there about me," Penny scowled slightly.

"Hey," Leonard bristled, defensive. "Everything I said was true."

"Yeah," Penny countered, hands on her hips. "And directed toward me. Even Sheldon caught that." Sheldon. Sheldon had held hands with Amy. And hadn't freaked straight for his sanitizer. It must be getting serious between them. Penny, distracted by these thoughts, missed Leonard's attempt at an apology. He noticed.

"Penny, I'm trying to apologize here, are you even listenting to me?"

Penny came to her senses. "I'm sorry, Leonard. I can't do this anymore." She got up and turned to walk to the door, but turned back just as quickly. Leonard didn't know what to do. It was the bowling alley all over again. Penny hugged him hard and whispered, "I'm so sorry. I can't. I thought I could. I didn't wanna be alone, and you're just such a nice guy, except when you're a total jerk, but I thought I could get passed that, but I can't, and I'm sorry." She was crying by now, so Leonard did the only thing he could think of - he put his arms around her and patted her back. It was far from ideal, but deep down he had seen this coming. Ever since he proposed in bed, he knew it was only a matter of time. Just like when he dropped the "L" bomb.

She knew it was irrational, that just because Sheldon and Amy's relationship seemed to be progressing she would give up on finding love altogether, but she just couldn't stand to see him with Amy. And she couldn't stand Leonard's jabs at her anymore just because she wouldn't marry him. Couldn't he see she was in love with someone else? But of course not. No one could. She hid it too well. _I need to get away. Maybe I can find a cheaper apartment somewhere else? I'll come back when Howard does, but I can't be around Leonard and Sheldon any longer. It hurts too much._ She whispered "I'm sorry Leonard" one more time and ran for the door.

* * *

A/N2: Hang in there, Shenny fans! I WILL GET SHENNY OUT OF THIS FINALE IF IT KILLS ME.

Inspired somewhat by Love Hurts by Incubus.

I was doing dishes when I heard the line _Without love I won't survive._ Somehow this came from that. Don't ask.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon stood in the hallway, rooted to the spot. He had been on his way to the bathroom. After much pondering over the earlier scene with Amy he had decided to just go with it. Amy was good for him. Everyone thought so. He changed into his Monday pajamas and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth but when he heard his name he froze. "Even Sheldon caught that." What had he caught? He heard Leonard apologize, then her subsequent apology for not being able to "do this anymore." This confused him even more. Did she mean this as in argue? This as in the relationship? What? He put his head around the corner for a moment and saw Penny hugging Leonard and Leonard awkwardly patting her back. She was whispering, so his Vulcan hearing only caught a few words. "...didn't wanna be alone...total jerk..." Then she apologized again and fled the apartment. Sheldon stood there a moment longer to process what he'd just witnessed. _Penny must've broken up with Leonard again. It was inevitable, of course. I just didn't think it would happen this soon. Then again, I didn't think Leonard would be stupid enough to propose during coitus. I suppose that's what I get for overestimating Leonard's intelligence. It won't happen again._ His thoughts quieted for the moment and he moved toward the bathroom again. He picked up his toothbrush and applied the toothpaste. As he brought it to his mouth he recalled his earlier thought of settling for Amy.

_If Penny's not going to settle for Leonard then why should I settle for Amy?_

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

The next day dawned slightly cloudy, much like Sheldon's mood. Sheldon hoped the clouds would clear later. Or he would, if he were the type to connect the weather with his mood.

Sheldon had planned to have lunch with Amy that afternoon so he broached the subject of his thoughts then.

"Good afternoon, Sheldon," she greeted.

"That remains to be seen," he countered. "Amy Farrah Fowler, I can no longer in good conscience continue this relationship." He held up a hand to silence her. "Let me finish. In Section Five of the Relationship Agreement that you and I signed it is stated '_Handholding is only allowed under the following circumstances: A, either party is in danger of falling off of a cliff, precipice or ledge. B, either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a nobel prize. C, moral support during flu shots.'_ As the previous situation was neither of these I have broken the contract and can no longer refer to you as my 'girlfriend.'

Amy must have gotten in touch with her feminine side recently, because she looked almost devastated. It was obvious she was grasping for straws. "That may be," her voice wavered just a little bit. "However, it was for moral support, just not of the flu shot variety." Her voice was stronger now. "If I were to say I liked the hand holding would you agree to continue our relationship?" She didn't dare look hopeful, but she felt it.

Sheldon bowed his head. "I'm sorry, but no. I violated our agreement in more than just that way, although it isn't strictly stated in the agreement." He looked her in the eye. "Amy...I didn't want to have to tell you this, and I know you don't want to hear it, but...I wasn't thinking when I reached for your hand."

Confusion furrowed Amy's brow. "But Sheldon, you never act without thinking."

"Apologies. Let me clarify." He cleared his throat softly. "I wasn't thinking of _you_ when I reached for your hand."

"What do you mean?" There was a tinge of fear to her voice, but Sheldon didn't catch it.

He shifted his weight from side to side nervously. He didn't like admiting this next part to her. "Well..." he paused, then plunged, hardly stopping for breath. "Penny usually sits next to me on the couch. As much of my cognitive functions were centered on Wolowitz's departure the rest of them must have regressed back to the habit of having Penny near me while on the couch. Auto-pilot, if you will. Some might call what I did a mindless action, but as my mind is more functional than almost every other mind on the planet, to say that would be folly. And since I have an eidetic memory it would also be wrong to say I forgot that you were the one seated next to me; just as it would be wrong to say that I forgot Penny _wasn't_ seated next to me, but was instead sitting next to Leonard. I was, in fact, thinking about my actions. I was completely aware of them. It was merely a habit to think of Penny as next to me on the couch, as it has been that way since she moved here. I merely thought "Penny will be seeking comfort, most likely of the physical variety. As I am closest to her she will almost definitely seek it from me. I suppose I may as well get a jump start." The only flaw in this thought was that I was mistaken in where Penny was seated." He finally breathed and waited for Amy's reaction.

"So, in other words, you unconsciously mistook me for Penny?" There was hurt in her voice, but also resignation.

"I'm afraid so." Sheldon bowed his head again.

"Sheldon, that's the same thing as forgetting I was there." Amy's hurt was coming out more, but Sheldon refused to be wrong.

"No it isn't." He shook his head. "I didn't forget you were there. It was merely stored in a part of my brain that stores short-term memories, which I was apparently ignoring in favor of my long-term memories." Finally recognizing her pain, he shifted. "I apologize if this upsets you, Amy. I meant no harm."

There was a long silence, then "So this means the Relationship Agreement is void?"

Sheldon nodded. "Indeed."

Amy cleared her throat and tried to regain her composure. "Will you be pursuing Penny, then?"

Sheldon looked her in the eye, searching for something of which he wasn't sure. "As I heard their breakup last night, I do believe I will make my thoughts known to her." His eyes flicked away and back to hers quickly, betraying his nerves. "I do not expect her to reciprocate, however. In the spirit of truth, Penny's breakup was the catalyst for ours. Again, I'm sorry if this pains you. I'm given to believe that it is generally frowned upon for a man to leave a woman for her best friend." His voice was soft, just above a whisper now. "However, I can no longer continue this relationship. I would be, as they say, 'stringing you along.'" He used air quotes.

Amy thought about this. He did look remorseful, and she knew he couldn't lie or fake emotion. He was genuinely worried about her mental and emotional state, and sorry he had caused her distress. "That is true," she whispered. "Thank you for not stringing me along." She paused. "Sheldon?"

"Yes, Amy?"

Amy looked sad. "May I have a last request, if you will?"

Sheldon nodded. "You may."

Amy took a second to gather the courage, then asked him, "I would like a goodbye kiss. No longer than three seconds, I promise." Then she added, "Please?"

It was her eyes. They were so sad. Like Penny's when she asked him to sing Soft Kitty, only deep blue instead of bright green. "I suppose that is a reasonable request, as I have no doubt 'broken your heart,' though it is actually physically impossible for a heart to break. It would be crushed, if anything, but I digress." He nodded again. "Very well, you may have a goodbye kiss."

Sheldon hesitated for a moment, then bent down and pressed his lips to hers for exactly three seconds. There was no other contact between them, just their lips. When he backed away he saw a tear slide down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb and wiped his hand with a paper towl and applied hand sanitizer. She understood the kiss must've been hard for him, with his mysophobia, so she let him have this unjudged. He handed her a clean paper towel to dry her eyes.

"Thank you, Sheldon," she whispered.

"You're welcome."

* * *

A/N: In case you're wondering, I'm trying to ease Sheldon out of his comfort zone just a _teen tiny_ little bit. Not a lot, but enough for this story.

I had no idea writing Sheldon's dialogue was so exhausting. But it's worth it to read your accolades! Keep em coming! I squee with every email.


	3. Chapter 3

Raj and Leonard sat in the cafeteria at CalTech. Leonard was whining about Penny, of course. Raj was really trying to pretend to care, he really was, but it just wasn't coming. He knew it was only a matter of time before Penny dumped Leonard again. She was in love with Sheldon. She wasn't going to stick around forever; she wasn't that much of a masochist and Leonard was an idiot. So when Sheldon sat down next to him Raj took the opportunity to change the subject.

"Sheldon! I thought you were having lunch with Amy today?"

Sheldon didn't look up from his tray as he responded. "Amy and I severed our relationship agreement earlier. I thought it appropriate to give her some time alone to come to terms with the shift in our relationship paradigm."

Leonard, hurt from his breakup, heard this and predictably said the wrong thing.

"Did you dump her 'cause she proposed in the heat of the moment? Or did she drop you 'cause you wouldn't touch her?" His voice was bitter.

Sheldon scowled at Leonard. His voice was soft, but firm. "No, Leonard. Though it is none of your business, I violated the agreement and thought it best to remove myself lest I do more damage." He threw his utensils back on the tray. "I've lost my appetite. I will be in my office making significant contributions to science if either of you need me."

"What did he mean by 'violated the agreement?'" Leonard asked, still angry, but puzzled.

"Who knows, dude," Raj replied. "Does anyone really know what all was in that thing?" Raj had his suspicions, but didn't voice them. He'd ask Sheldon after lunch.

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

"You didn't violate the agreement, did you?" Raj asked once he got back to their shared office.

Sheldon didn't even look up from his desk. "Don't be silly Raj, you know I can't lie. I did, indeed, violate the agreement. I held Amy's hand outside of the parameters set by myself. I couldn't, in good conscience, continue the relationship after I had broken my own rules." He stood and picked up a red marker, bending to solve an equation on the whiteboard nearest him.

"Oh come on, Sheldon, don't give me that crap," Raj didn't quite yell, annoyed that his friend wouldn't admit his feelings, even to himself. "That is a strike-worthy offense if anything, not worthy of dissolving it completely. Tell me the truth - the _whole_ truth." He paused when Sheldon's arm froze. "I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

The office was silent for a long moment. Then Sheldon continiued to plug variables into and solve the equation. "Penny broke up with Leonard last night," he said quietly.

Raj looked triumphant for half a second but schooled his expression neutral quickly. _I knew it. Now to see if he's in love with Penny as well._

"And you think that because they didn't work out that you and Amy won't work out?" Raj asked. He knew that wasn't it; Sheldon had said from day one - literally, day one - that their relationship would never work. Raj just needed Sheldon to say what he, Raj, already knew to be true.

Sheldon finished solving his equation and wrote the results in his notebook. "Of course not. Penny and Leonard's "relationship" was ill fated from the beginning. They have absolutely nothing in common. The only things they bond over are alcohol, coitus, and a shared friendship with us. In fact, Penny spends more time alone with me than she does with Leonard." It wasn't as momentous as an epiphany from Dr. House. In fact, it was barely noticable unless you were specifically looking for it. But Raj saw that was the moment Sheldon realized he had a shot with Penny - that Penny might actually return his feelings. And Raj knew Sheldon had feelings for Penny. All of this just confirmed it.

"Shall I drive you home so you can tell Penny all of this?" Raj offered.

Sheldon considered the offer, but declined. "Thank you, but no. Penny has the afternoon shift today."

A thought occurred to Raj then. "Does Amy know?"

"Yes."

"You know Leonard will be beyond furious."

"I couldn't care less what Leonard thinks, Raj. It's none of his business."

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

Penny got a text from Raj during her break.

_Sheldon broke up with Amy earlier. Can't say anything else. It's my turn to get Thai tonight. Do you want your usual?_

_Wat do u mean sheldon broke up w/ amy? I thot they were happy! He even held her hand w/o screamin for purell!_

_Like I said, I can't say anything else. Thai?_

_Yeah, i guess._

_Are you going to talk to him?_

_Do u think itd make ne diff?_

_Couldn't hurt._

_Oh it could. Blv me it could._

_I don't think so._

_Y wat do u no?_

_Nothing. I just know he actually listens to you._

Penny looked at the time. Her break was over five minutes ago. She'd pay for that little oversight. _g2g. break over. c u 2nite._

Penny knew Raj knew something. It made her feel a little better, like she actually might have a shot with Sheldon. She knew Leonard would be beyond pissed off, but she couldn't bring herself to care. If things worked out the way she wanted them to tonight Leonard could be pissed at her forever and she probably wouldn't even notice, let alone care. Her smile got her good tips the rest of the day.

* * *

A/N: And now we have hope! I love Raj. He's so insightful and observant. :D

One more chapter to go!


	4. Chapter 4

_I just know he actually listens to you._

Well that was true. Penny had noticed that over the years. Sheldon never listened to something he didn't want to listen to. If he didn't want to hear it he either ignored you or left the room. But he listened to Penny more than anyone else. So as she was walking up the stairs to 4B after her shift she decided to go after what she wanted like the Big Ol' Five she was. And he would listen. After she showered and changed. There was no way she was talking to anyone until she no longer smelled of cheesecake.

After her shower Penny flopped face down on her bed, got out her phone and texted Raj to bring her her Thai food. She didn't want to see Leonard so soon after dumping him. Again. She'd call Sheldon over after dinner.

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

Just as Raj sat down in 4A he received a text from Penny. She wanted him to bring her her Thai food. He was about to get up when he had an idea.

"Sheldon, could you take Penny her share? She doesn't want to see Leonard so soon after the breakup."

Raj got just the reaction he wanted. Leonard scowled and opened his mouth to say something - probably scathing toward both Penny and Sheldon - but Sheldon interrupted him, knowing Raj was giving him an opportunity to talk to Penny.

"I suppose. Perhaps she and I could eat the ice cream I bought for dessert. It is the custom to eat ice cream after a breakup, is it not?"

Raj nodded and Leonard spluttered, not quite able to put his surprised, indignant thoughts into words. Sheldon packed up his and Penny's food, went to the freezer, got out two pints of Ben & Jerry's, and left the apartment. When the door shut behind him Leonard's brain unstuck and he was able to form sentences again.

"What the hell?"

"What?" Raj asked innocently.

"That. What the hell was that?" Indignation gave way to confusion, but he was still surprised.

"I don't know what you're talking about, dude."

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

*Knock knock knock*

"Penny."

Penny, from her spot facedown in bed, mumbled, "Dammit, Raj." Then she yelled, "Come in, Sheldon!"

The second the door opened he started talking, but didn't actually look at her.

"Raj said you didn't want to see Leonard, which is understandable. I don't particularly want to be around him either, so I brought you your Thai food. I also brought ice cream. I am given to understand ice cream is an integral part of the "mourning period," so to speak, after a break up. Since Amy and I severed our agreement today I bought Cherry Garcia for myself and Chocolate Therapy for you. I thought it sounded appropriate, as you often seem to need therapy after ending a relationship, and Missy once told me chocolate fixes everything, though that's impossible. It doesn't fix a broken lightbulb, for instance, nor does it fix -"

"SHELDON!"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. May we sit and eat? The food is getting cold and the ice cream is melting."

"Yes, sweetie. Let me just put it in the freezer. We can eat it after dinner."

~*DD*~*DD*~*DD*~

Sheldon was enjoying his pint of Cherry Garcia and trying to get up the courage to broach the subject of his feelings when Penny shoved the spoon into her ice cream and set it on the coffee table. They were seated on the couch, Sheldon on the far left, Penny on the far right, her back against the arm rest, feet curled under her.

"Why did you break up with Amy?" she asked softly, breaking the silence.

Sheldon hesitated. "I violated the Relationship Agreement last night when I held her hand."

Penny didn't look convinced, and he didn't blame her. After talking to Raj it seemed like a flimsy reason indeed. A poor excuse, if he were being honest - which he always was, because he couldn't lie to save his life, not even to himself. Penny was giving him the same look Raj had in their office. The 'don't give me that crap' look.

Sheldon sighed. "I wasn't thinking of her when I took her hand." He refused to mee her eyes. He was afraid of what he might find.

"Oh." That was the Sheldon equivalent of saying someone else's name during sex. She wondered... "Who...who were you thinking of?" She didn't know of any other women in his life, but she didn't dare think it _had_ to be her. Wishful thinking only got you so far before it started dragging you down.

"Penny," Sheldon began, but paused. He drew a deep breath and began again. "Penny, my mind regressed back to the long-term memory and ignored the short-term memory. Since you moved here you have sat in the middle cushion to my right, excluding the times you sat in the chair to my left. It is ingrained in my long-term memory that you sit next to me in my apartment. When we watched Howard blast off into space I thought 'Penny will seek physical comfort from the person nearest her.' So I reached to my right, habitually thinking you were sitting there when, in fact, it was Amy sitting next to me. Her presence was stored in my short-term memory, which I ignored in favor of my long-term memories.

"Penny, I reached for your hand, not Amy's." His eyes were blazing into hers as he took her left hand into his right, as he had meant to do yesterday.

Penny was overwhelmed by this revelation. When he grabbed her hand, a line from a song drifted through her head.

"Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive," she sang softly, looking at their joined hands. She looked him in the eyes again. "Sheldon...I'm going to kiss you. Don't freak out, ok?"

But she needn't worry. His lips touched hers first, tentatively. She squeezed his hand and leaned into the kiss, scooting closer to him on the couch. The knuckles of his free hand lightly grazed her cheek. It was the sweetest kiss she'd ever experienced and made her feel special, like she was the only girl in the world.

He pulled back slowly, as if he didn't want to, and licked his lips, tasting her chocolate ice cream. "I would like to propose a shift in our relationship paradigm," he said softly.

"I accept on one condition," she said.

"And what would that be, Penny?" he asked. Sheldon would give her anything in that moment.

"That you kiss me like that at least once a day for the forseeable future."

"Can I kiss you in other ways as well, or am I limited?" He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

Penny looked intrigued and a little surprised. "Oh? What did you have in mind?" She smiled.

"Well, I've noticed the pulse point in your neck quite a bit lately." His lips ghosted over the spot mentioned. "And there's a freckle right behind your left ear that looks intriguing," which he touched with his nose. "I could go on and on," he whispered.

Penny shivered. "I could let you." She pulled him up for another deathly soft kiss that set her on fire like no other kiss had. She sucked in his lower lip and tasted cherry mixing with the chocolate left over from their ice cream. It was her new favorite combination; cherry chocolate. It would forever remind her of this moment - the moment everything started to fall into place for them.

* * *

A/N: I hope this is as satisfying for you as it is for me. Writing this has truly been a therapeutic pleasure.


End file.
